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coloured silhouettes and airplane mode days

two a.m. thoughts that i should probably keep to myself oops

i hate the way we ended. i ended it and i hate it and if there were a better way to do it i would go back and redo it but i guess that was the best i could do. i miss you.

i hate the way we started. who started it; me, you? does it matter anyhow. it was a bad start. it shouldn’t have started. not that it shouldn’t have started at all. it started at the wrong time at the wrong place in the wrong way (with the wrong person ? ). it was basically the worst start possible. and me sitting here at two a.m. typing away doesn’t rectify it but it does organise my mind a little. calm it down a little.

i hate the way i fail at everything. i’ve screwed up most of the things that matter to in life. i fail at life haha. haha.

maybe it’s my destiny in life to make bubble tea (it’s honestly really fun)

it’s scary, that i’ll probably never find another person who’d love me as much as you did (it’s also scary, how much you loved me, how did you do it)

me: our crushes aren’t cute ):
cy: it’s okay, as long as we’re cute :)

can somebody define love for me tyvm

things were a lot easier you know, when people around you weren’t getting drunk every other week or sleeping around or back stabbing others left right centre.

and i guess one day things will be alright but today is probably not the day

24 Sep 2014


considering my schedule and my progress with getting work done i think one post every fortnight is not bad luh, uh

last day of school today before recess week woohoo! desperately need the break to catch up on work (especially esp1107 ggxx). notes to be printed readings to be read tutorials to be done. although i might have committed 4/11 days to work and hall already oops. but it’s okay i can do this shit

also, made up my mind that whatever will come will come and whatever will be will be so there’s no point in thinking too much about it or forcing it. although i’m really hoping it’ll work but with so many people dissuading me….. we’ll see

excited for the next academic year hehe rag and camp and student life committees should be fun right i hope hahaha

1 star kayak course clashes with make up tutorial but i really wanna go ):

side note, i’m really really glad to be in engineering where girls are the minority so we don’t bother putting on the sweet and nice and fake face. the conversations i hear beside me when i’m at arts……. (generalising here but i’m really speaking from what i observe k. their pitch on average is like half an octave higher like please calm the f down)

okay now i feel slightly mean haha, but nonetheless, THANKFUL TO BE IN ENGINEERING.

19 Sep 2014



#this is making me want to cry #like do you ever see this kind of shit and realize how much beauty is in the world #and how much of it you’re missing #and you just wish so much you could travel the world and live day by day experiencing new things


things are going bad but if i take a step back and count my blessings first, things don’t look that bad after all :)

hall is great haha i have friends and food 24/7 and maybe that’s all that matters

and have i mentioned friends. friends are a blessing and i have literally never been more thankful for the fact that i have friends. like they just brought the meaning of friends to a new level okay. how they support you when you mess up something. how they support you when others mess up something and you have to tank it. how they support you when the odds are against you. how they support you when you’re wasted and shit. i don’t see any reason they have to be there for me and i have no idea why they’re still there for me but i’m just glad that they are :> and no matter how shitty the first four weeks of uni have been, i’m glad that they showed me what friendship can be.

on a brighter note, i completed and handed in my first assignment as well as passed my first quiz in college (without studying for it) and may i just add that i’m mighty proud of myself (‘: (oh i also asked my first question in physics tutorial today #achievementunlocked )

a simple morning call from you, plain polaroid pictures with you make my day and i’m not sure how to feel about it that. would i get hurt going down this road? i’m thinking yes. but would i regret it if i took a step back? most definitely. perhaps you may cock up somewhere down the road and i’d end up being the one hurt but maybe all that matters is we had today (maybe)

can’t believe i’m calling jc days simple but compared to the shit that’s been going on recently, jc days were so so simple. can’t wait till our mini reunion hehe :3

and i guess after all, life still moves on


11 Sep 2014


"We get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds."

(via 69shadesofgray)

chapter 4

waking up at 2am to complete assignments and staying awake till 8am lectures is something i guess i’ll get used to #ilovecollegelife #nonotreally

can’t wait till breakfast!!!!

in the meanwhile i come across depressing shit that people post at 4am hahaha oh wells

moving on and on and on

one day we’ll brush shoulders like strangers do

last day of week 4 and it seems like things are settling down :) although there’s a group presentation in a couple of weeks and a 1200 word essay due in 2 days (which i have not started on) oops

i should also do my laundry soon

caffeine intake has increased exponentially since i found out that starbucks downstairs is opened around the clock :) 

i wanna go back and visit rwinds but i’m also forever occupied siannnn ):

still waiting for breakfast sobz food

considering switching workplaces haha like koi is fun and near and all but still need to travel. compared to utown starbucks heh. #lifedecisions

didn’t think i’d be involved in this kind of politics but in the spirit of fighting for what you want, i think it was worth it HAHA.

cocky ignorant shit

to go for noc or sep omg i need to make up my mind (to slack and travel and have fun or to do work and be productive) T.T

apologies for this incoherent pile of junk haha i haven’t done any sort of writing since forever thank you faculty of engineering

5 Sep 2014

sem 1 week 2

second week of school has just ended and i’ve already screwed things over oh well haha life is so exciting

engin & biz bash were both memorable experiences but….maybe i should stop drinking. just maybe. counted 5/13 nights since school started :)))

thought i’d have a slightly easier time cos i’m taking 3 engin mods and just 2 readings based mods (soci and seminar) but NO i’ve like 2 to 3 readings per week for those mods and they’re freaking heavy. i’m spending like half an hour on each reading ._. have no idea why i’m still considering taking a minor in sociology but i guess i can just declare and try for it anyway haha no harm

programming sucks balls and that’s that. maths sucks balls too because it’s kinda hard and i hate not having a subject that i can guarantee my grades i really hate the feeling. haven’t started on any physics work yet sooooooo we’ll see (probably will not turn out well considering i can’t even remember what topic chapter one is)

so probably the question that comes to mind is, what the fuck have i been doing in the past two weeks of school. there’s work lololol been working on the weekends. there’s also engin club campaigning which is fucking stressful because i need votes and i don’t know many people ._. hopefully my campaigning points are alright so that i don’t have to rely that much on the votes HAHA. hopefully. besides that hmmmmm oh printing notes and tutorials and assignments and readings took one whole afternoon cos it was like 300 pages of stuff and i spent like 12 bucks on it LOL. besides that i guess i’ve just been slacking whoops. time to buck up!!

tembusu/utown’s a life saver i have no idea what i’d do without having the qw/cheryl around for me to run to when i need help (and the drinking helps a little ahem) like last night when i was just drunk emoing and bugging qw/th for help HAHA #bestfreshieaward

work is such a great escape from everything :)

okay bye i have two hours to do tutorials followed by four hours of campaign stuff and then five hours of work LOL praying that i wake up early tomorrow

24 August 2014


U know how in winter it gets so cold and u think u will never be hot again and in summer it gets so hot u think u will never be cold again I think that is how it is with ur feelings like when u r sad u think u will never be happy and when u r happy u think u will never be sad. But u will be hot again and u will be cold again and u will be sad again but most of all u will be happy again

(via flawdandall)

"You never get over it. But you get to where it doesn’t bother you so much."

- The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides (via emilywantshappiness)

(via emilywantshappiness)

oh how i wonder/wander

why are people still visiting this blog it’s been dead for AGES hahaha i haven’t properly posted in three months oh dear

the boy is in essen without wifi LIFE SUCKS #firstworldproblems

work has been kind :) but can’t wait to start school stuff in a week haha woohoo! not sure how i’m gonna find the time to work after school starts but i really can’t bear to leave the place ): but then again apparently lots of people that i’m close to are leaving the place too so :x sigh life moves on so fast

been checking my mail more than facebook for updates is that a sign of growing up hahahaha. also i think worrying for something bigger than yourself is… humbling.

feel like i should be saying more after a 3 month hiatus but… i really can’t think of anything that needs to be updated ._. HAHA i have no life seriously it’s work everyday for me with the occasional friends

OH that reminds me bryan is back from US haha so we had a 6R reunion of course we have reunions for everything. how is it that we are even so close i don’t understand cos we have so little in common. mega thanks to mr goh i think he was the reason we started going out in the first place and that habit just stuck? like he was always demanding for our outings then not coming along with us last minute. every. single. time. coming to think of it, maybe it was just some grand plan of his to make sure that we stay close for a lifetime HAHA cos it definitely feels like it’s gonna stay that way. i mean we have boys in ns and girls studying overseas and everything and we still manage to have meet ups. can’t think of anything that’ll stop us from having reunions after we start working and having families and everything. like seriously. 

okay looking too far into the future lets come back to the reason i’m writing this shit at one forty in the morning.

……..i have no idea why i’m writing this shit at one forty in the morning

why doesn’t he have wifi in essen sobz

on a side note, possible JC class reunion happening soon yay

europe europe europe what happened to spain plans!!!!

9 June 2014

okay this is freaking ridiculously i’ve been dreaming of the same freaking thing like twenty times and everytime the same thing happens in a different way like i wouldn’t even see it coming and if it’s a reflection of what i’m truly afraid of then :/ when did i get so attached